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Think of any old family television show and you can probably remember the episode about bullies. The answer to bullies always seemed to be teaching Junior how to defend himself and the situation was resolved with the first punch - because everyone knew that bullies were cowards. Unfortunately, the face of bullying has changed. In a recent study, four out of five middle school students admitted to having bullied someone. How are parents to protect their children from today's bullying problem? Here are some strategies for solving the bully issue.
Pressure the School. Many schools are instituting Anti-Bullying rules and procedures that include more monitoring, posted rules about bullying, mediation between bullies and victims and classroom discussions about bullying issues. If your child's school has not yet implemented such a program, suggest strongly that they consider one. Offer to volunteer in monitoring duties.
Bully proof your child. Although there are more bullies than ever, the victims have not changed much. Bullies look for children who are passive, hesitant, and socially awkward. The preferred target is not overly popular with teachers or other students. Bullies rarely confront a victim alone, preferring an appreciative audience. Bully proofing you child involves changing some of these aspects.
ยท Encourage your child to stay with groups of friends. Bullies generally pass over victims that have even one or two friends with them.
ยท Encourage your child to voice his objections. Bullies prefer victims who suffer in silence. Practice role-playing with your child at home until your child can firmly tell someone to stop picking on him.
ยท Arm your child with funny comebacks. Since audience is so important to bullies, if your child can make a clever (though not mean-spirited) retort, often the audience will begin to side with the victim, thus undermining the bully's support.
ยท Teach your child to carry himself with confidence. Actions can be learned, even without the internal confidence to back them up. Bullies chose their victims based on an appearance of weakness, so teach your child to stand up straight and look people in the eye - especially when confronted.
ยท Consider getting self-defense training for your child. Although a violent response to a bully is not acceptable or productive, self-defense classes can make a child more confident and therefore less of a target.
Studies have shown that children who are the frequent victims of bullies often grow up to be bullied adults. You can take steps to break the cycle now and guarantee that your child will be bullied no more.
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