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Most parents want to see their children get involved in some sort of extracurricular activity or hobby. Scouting, dance lessons, music lessons, sports – the list is endless. But, could your child be spreading himself too thin? Are the activities in which your child is currently involved monopolizing his or her time? How much time is left for school work? How much time is left for family?
It may be a good idea to sit down and take a look at exactly what your child is doing and how much time he or she spends doing it. Review your child’s daily schedule. Calculate how many hours per week are available after school. Then look at how many hours per week are spent partaking in extracurricular activities. Finally, realistically calculate how much time your child spends doing all of the other things that make up his life on a daily basis. For example – dinner, doing homework, playing with friends, doing chores, reading, watching television, etc. Now, subtract the number of hours spent on extracurricular activities from the number of hours available. Subtract the number of hours spent on all other activities from that number. Now, how much time is left over? Are you surprised? Concerned? Where does quality family time fit in? Chances are if you have a very active child there really isn’t too much time left for family, let alone anything else that may come up. And it is that simple family time that is so important to your child’s growth and development.
Families need time to interact, to converse and communicate, to strengthen the bonds of trust, to work together and to play together. If this time is not available because your child is too busy, then perhaps your child’s daily activity list needs some revision. If your child is doing well in school and you have decided to limit the number of activities he or she is involved in it is essential to explain that your actions are not in any way a form of punishment. Remember, you are trying to help your child – you certainly do not want him or her to rebel against your actions. Be open with your child. Honestly explain your concerns and that you want to spend more time together as a family because you love him.
If, on the other hand, your child is not doing well in school and his grades are suffering and he is very actively involved in extracurricular activities then make no qualms about it. More time needs to be spent on school work and with family than partaking in other activities.
Another issue to consider is: although your child may seem happy with their present routine, he or she may be experiencing some extent of stress themselves from having such a tight and busy schedule. Some children may even desire to give up a lesson or a sport but refrain from bringing it up to their parents because of a fear of disappointing them and may gratefully welcome the suggestion of cutting back. Keep the lines of communication open. Don’t make your child feel as if they have to “perform” for you. And be sure your child feels that they can talk to you, expressing their feelings and concerns openly and honestly without fear of disappointing you. The more you and your children can communicate and the more time you can devote to being together as a family the closer your relationships will be. And, the closer your relationship with your child the brighter your child’s future.
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